“I Am Afraid”
A Poem by Antony
(Antony is a Cameroonian refugee, seeking asylum here among us, in New Hampshire.  We cherish his poetry, even as our hearts break for the violence and oppression he’s known.)

I am afraid, oh I am so afraid

The dark fear grips my heart so tight

Uncertainty looms and hope fades

The freedom was only temporary

All the good times seem to be over

The future now uncertain and scary

Memories of time I spent in jail in dover

Begin to flash before my eyes


My mind had rested from the fight

Not long enough for peace to set in

For once I thought I have found relief

I was reminded the fight is yet to begin

I live in fear and feel myself falling like a leaf

Each day gets harder with every breath I take

I try to pray, but my voice is coarse and dry

That feeling of horror I cannot shake


Fear and worry make me grow old and gray

As days pass, I struggle not to fall apart

I keep hope and thoughts of better days

Dispelling the darkness that consumes my heart

This fear drains my energy and makes me sway

In regions dark to me my mind keeps moving

I have hard times keeping the monsters at bay

As they seek to nab me, each one unmoving


I am afraid to lose this fight, oh I am so afraid

Like a rabbit pinned in a corner by hyenas

I fear for my life, fear I haven’t felt in decades

I  talk to myself like one who has gone crazy

Every day I wonder if freedom comes with a fee

This feeling of fear I am experiencing is rare

Sometimes rays of hope I see and relief I feel

Yet everyday my heart is gripped by fear.